So, there I was, moving to a different city, scared as all hell. Moving from CPT to Joburg (according to my mother) is like moving from the Garden of Eden to Sodom and Gomorra. Her sweet little girl will be killed as soon as she lands at OR Tambo. So for the first few weeks, I was made to phone daily, to prevent motherly panic attacks. Poor mother dear, having to deal with images of me lying in a gutter in Hillbrow, high on heroin after I had been forced into prostitution by my Nigerian pimp. I was at the time already 29. With that said, good coloured girls are always their mommy’s babies, even after they are 50 and married with grandkids.
Although moving to the “big bad city of gold” was daunting, I felt a little cushioned by a good friend (erm, albeit straight) who housed, fed and drove me around. Moving from queer CPT to straight Jozi was a shift. I struggled. When before, Friday night’s were spent trawling Somerset road, with my oh too familiar gal pals, I felt a deep sense of belonging. The lesbian tie that binds. Here, in the bright lights of Melville, I felt like a lost 5c piece, the 5c piece you don’t miss when it falls out of your pocket into the gutters on a drunken phuza Thursday.
When I felt sure I was the only lesbian in JHB. A miracle. Vanessa knew a girl. They used to hang when she lived in JHB. Vanessa moved to CPT. We used to hang. She introduced us. We sent some emails. We clicked.
“Has the big city eaten you up yet?” She says
“LOL! Not quite...I freaked out this morning cause I had to drive myself to work! It was crazy man! That map book is too heavy to put on the steering wheel while driving, the traffic was horrific, and my friends car's cv joints need replacing, so it made an awful sound! It was intense; I was white as a sheet and sweating from every pore when I got to work! My friend who I am staying with you see, has up and gone to Uganda for a week! So here's me, timid little Cape Townian, fending for herself in this crazy place...But I'm sure I'll be fine...I found a place to stay though, really pretty, in Parkhurst (a garden cottage) perfect for me! So I'm excited about that...am moving in end of March.. Well, enough about this boring stuff, I haven’t had a chance to check out any of the places you mailed me. I'm just waiting to get settled in then I'm going to dive in there...
How are you?” I reply.
Within minutes, “He he, baptism by fire! It's like you're a real Jozarian now... you drove in peak-time traffic! Congrats. Now you just have to collect 1x altercation with a taxi story and your initiation is done! Cottage in Parkhurst, nice one! That's quite central.
As for me, I'm shup!
I got a shiny new car and I feel like a diva behind the wheel.
Do you wanna go for a coffee or a beer or a milkshake or something? Or I could just fetch you and drive you though the Joburg that I know...
Lemme know...” came the reply.
I retort, “That would be great Coffee/beer/milkshake, not said altercation with taxi driver! eek! Well, my social calendar is wide open! No appointments! Or prior engagements! lol! Perhaps we could meet somewhere, I know where the main road is in Melville, where all the bars are...and I know how to get to the Spar! lol!”
Some innocent cyber banter passed back and forth. We meet. We like each other. She’s cute. We’re just friends.
After a few quirky dinner parties, lots of wine (consumed over a number of days) I propose, “It’s my friend, Stella's birthday party on Friday night, this is your formal invitation- It’s a dress up party though...the theme is your "favourite villain" I'm going as Velma Kelly from the musical, Chicago...It’s going to be lotsa fun! So please come...”
“Sure. I’ll bring beer.”
Next thing I know, I’m Velma Kelly, standing by the driveway gate and Gogo Yubari (sexy Japanese killer school girl ala Kill Bill) has her tongue down my throat. Staying in character, we’re groping, stumbling over, and devouring each other. As if I had just had a hit of ecstasy, my mind feels like a psychedelic wonderland. Not to mention the goings on in other parts of my anatomy. This was weird. We were just friends right? But this felt so, so good. Nails digging, hair pulling, lip bitingly good.
To be continued....
